Funny how the world works. When it was only among 3000 people, I failed (for years) to come across the one person I was meant to meet. Soon after finally meeting this person, the world came between us. And now I am to find this one person among a hundred million others, in a place to where I have never ventured. I believe this is a fitting end of a long time coming. It is, at least, a very possible ending. I can only hope for the best.
Life would be very different right now had I not turned to see the stranger who was by my side that night. Everything has changed ever since.
When life seems to be JUST a bit too far on the positive side……
IT’S A TRAP!!!
haha just kidding T~T I’ve still got hope~
Not everything works out as planned but it’s nice to, now and then, have plans and dreams to motivate you. Much better than being lost and don’t know what you’re really cut out for.
Understand all of this and you’ll be just fine :)
11. First Day of My Life
One year ago, I was sitting in this exact room on campus. The study room that is unknown to most students, who pass by everyday but never take the time to explore it. I was here watching people come and go, and once they were leaving, I wondered about what had brought them here to where I happened to be and where they would eventually go. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was a coincidence.
I had already been accepting of the fact that different people walk different paths and learn different lessons in life. But now I’ve come to find someone who has walked a much different path from my own, yet the lessons we’ve learned and the things we’ve endured seem all too similar. It’s a funny thought that I have always been introduced to numerous and various aspects in my personal life: different traits, abilities, interests, friendships, companions, acquaintances, etc… Though the most interesting thing was that I never truly found myself. I never truly understood myself. Where was I meant to go? And what of these things that will one day shed off from my consciousness (or perhaps “unconsciousness”)?
This person has changed my perception of many things, because I find myself in them. It’s one thing to find someone who would take the time to understand it all, but another thing to find someone who has been through it all. We’ve walked different paths and endured different difficulties, but the lessons are the same in the end. I feel reassured about many things. Everything comes through in an effortless and genuine manner because there is a certain basic understanding that I had never established with another person before. Nothing is required; all is given. And so I find myself in the ideal phase of my “being”—content with being there for another (like being there for “yourself”). To give to someone who is like yourself, because you know you would appreciate it, is a good feeling. Perhaps now I am truly living~
10. My Journey
It’s been nearly 3 years since the first day I picked up the old, dusty computer microphone and recorded my first Korean cover song. What was on my mind at that very moment? Was it about how this song I was recording might become a smash hit and garner me hundreds of thousands of “fans”? Was it about all the compliments and love from people all over the world that would listen to my singing? To be completely honest, I do not remember what was on my mind at the moment while I recorded that song. When I record a song, I barely remember the outcome of it all, nor the feedback that one may expect from the listeners. I focus on the pronunciations, the expressions, and what the lyrics are saying.
Although I was not thinking of the outcome (because the more I may have thought about it, the less likely I would have uploaded the song/video in the first place), I knew exactly what caused me to sing these songs. It is quite a long story, but Korean music had a big part to do with it, and at this point, it was my remedy. There was no other kind of music in the world that would have made me feel as comforted and reassured. I was doing this for myself, to save myself. Sometimes I am surprised and thankful that I am still breathing today. Many will never understand, and even those who should have did not. It was my only escape and I am glad that I was able to embrace it.
Of course it wasn’t an amazing start. One of the very first comments I ever received on my video/cover was from a not-so-polite viewer about how I should give up on singing Korean music (granted that I had only begun a day or two before while recording the song). That was the first time I thought to myself, “Why should this comment affect me? I’m doing this for myself, not for this person.” I wasn’t going to let a stranger rip away my only cure.
Until this day, I have been down further on this path. Sure I have been able to have fun with my covers, experiment with instruments and partake in various collaborations with other singers online, but in the end it is this music that keeps me going. I’ve grown to love singing the songs I sing because it feels so right every time these songs begin as I hit the record button.
I am thankful for the many viewers and listeners who have come across my singing and have decided to follow my progress from then on. It is a rare chance for someone to be recognized in such a way, but even so, it is not of my main interest to gain the “largest fanclub” nor the “most subscribed channel”. I am happy with what I am doing and, as I have said before, I would be the last person to use the word “fans” to refer to my listeners. In fact, I sort of dislike the term, but I wouldn’t correct someone else if they used it. I would like to call my listeners and supporters my “friends”. Friends support one another and are always there for each other, both things that my listeners have done for me in the past. I have learned so much from these “friends” to become a stronger person, all because they were able to make a connection with a song or two that I have sang.
There isn’t much to “understand” about what I am doing. If there is something you enjoy doing that makes you happy, why should you let someone else change it or take it from you? If I had done something else all this time (sing other types of music, make other kinds of videos, resort to a different interest, etc…), do you think most of you would be here reading these words right now?
Not everyone can accept the way someone else does things differently. There should be nothing to question about what I have done up until now, because if things had been different, you would not be here reading these words and I would not be… me.
As I have said, doing the things that I do and singing the songs that I sing was able to help me from my past. I may even dare say that these very things have potentially led me to something newer and better; something which I doubt that I could have found if I had done things differently. I’m not looking to change just yet. My intentions are still the same and I will do what I can in the time given to me. As always, my journey is my own, but you are welcome to experience it with me through words and through music.